![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I've been listening to classical music radio in the car. KDFC is a pretty awesome station; they play Beethoven and Danny Elfman in the same set, Wendy Carlos and Wolfgang Mozart, and their DJs are calm and occasionally funny. The only thing I really hate about the station are the ads.
Just because I listen to classical radio does not mean I want to listen to Meg Whitman's logically fallacious "plan for California" on a regular basis, nor do I wish to purchase a mattress or prostate medication. The one that has been really bugging me lately is an ad that says something like this:
"Your girlfriend wants a Valentine's present. When she says she doesn't, she is completely and totally lying. Lying! It had better be wrapped up all cute, or she'll be mad! And that's why you should purchase her a cell phone from us...."
First of all... if your girlfriend says she doesn't want a Valentine's Day present, believe her. If she's playing passive aggressive bitch games where "oh, don't get me anything!" means "you better get me something or you'll be in trouble!" - dump her ass, because that's just fucked up and should not be encouraged. Or at least have a very long talk about it where she learns how to be honest about her needs and desires. It's ok to want Valentine's Day presents - or not want them - but pretending one thing when you mean another is bad news. Playing this kind of game only creates more sexism, because it's "just like a [stereotypical] woman" - and it's behavior that needs to be eradicated.
Secondly, a phone? for Valentine's Day? ...really? Here's what I want for Valentine's Day (if anything): something romantic and thoughtful. I want a card, genuine and sweet but not schlocky and not "funny." I also appreciate flowers, candy, maybe an inexpensive token of affection (jewelry? something from Good Vibrations?), and if money is good that year, a nice dinner out or something. I absolutely do not want anything useful. Useful can be for Christmas presents, birthday presents, or "just because" presents. Otherwise, if there are going to be Valentine's presents (and usually there are just cards and chocolate), I want something that makes me feel loved and desired, and an anonymous useful or technological item does not make me feel adored.
I suppose if I had been endlessly talking about how much I want X phone and my lover went and bought it for me as a Valentine's present, that would be thoughtful and sweet. Otherwise, even beyond the "useful vs. romantic" thing... if I'm getting a new phone, I want to pick it out myself. I spend a lot of time with my phone. I don't have a landline at home, and I don't use my desk phone for anything other than conference calls. My personal cell phone is my address book, alarm clock, notepad, calendar, email portal, connection to Twitter, text & voice connection to everyone who matters to me, thing that makes waiting in line bearable, and general device that keeps me connected to the datastream. I am not going to be ok with someone else picking carrier, OS, battery life, keyboard (or lack thereof), etc. for me. No one single phone is "the best" because people prioritize different things in a phone, so the best phone for you is not necessarily going to be the best phone for me. I realize I am a tech person who cares about features and specs, but even a totally non-techy girlfriend is likely to want to see if the thing can hold as much music as she wants or if it comes in a color she likes.
Sorry to rant like this, but every time this ad comes on the radio it really bothers me. People: if your partner says they don't want a Valentine's Day present, please believe them. If your partner does want a Valentine's present, get them something romantic, don't get them a fucking phone unless that's really the thing they want most in the world that would make them feel sexy and adored - and if that's the case, you might want to send them to a therapist, because wtf.
Just because I listen to classical radio does not mean I want to listen to Meg Whitman's logically fallacious "plan for California" on a regular basis, nor do I wish to purchase a mattress or prostate medication. The one that has been really bugging me lately is an ad that says something like this:
"Your girlfriend wants a Valentine's present. When she says she doesn't, she is completely and totally lying. Lying! It had better be wrapped up all cute, or she'll be mad! And that's why you should purchase her a cell phone from us...."
First of all... if your girlfriend says she doesn't want a Valentine's Day present, believe her. If she's playing passive aggressive bitch games where "oh, don't get me anything!" means "you better get me something or you'll be in trouble!" - dump her ass, because that's just fucked up and should not be encouraged. Or at least have a very long talk about it where she learns how to be honest about her needs and desires. It's ok to want Valentine's Day presents - or not want them - but pretending one thing when you mean another is bad news. Playing this kind of game only creates more sexism, because it's "just like a [stereotypical] woman" - and it's behavior that needs to be eradicated.
Secondly, a phone? for Valentine's Day? ...really? Here's what I want for Valentine's Day (if anything): something romantic and thoughtful. I want a card, genuine and sweet but not schlocky and not "funny." I also appreciate flowers, candy, maybe an inexpensive token of affection (jewelry? something from Good Vibrations?), and if money is good that year, a nice dinner out or something. I absolutely do not want anything useful. Useful can be for Christmas presents, birthday presents, or "just because" presents. Otherwise, if there are going to be Valentine's presents (and usually there are just cards and chocolate), I want something that makes me feel loved and desired, and an anonymous useful or technological item does not make me feel adored.
I suppose if I had been endlessly talking about how much I want X phone and my lover went and bought it for me as a Valentine's present, that would be thoughtful and sweet. Otherwise, even beyond the "useful vs. romantic" thing... if I'm getting a new phone, I want to pick it out myself. I spend a lot of time with my phone. I don't have a landline at home, and I don't use my desk phone for anything other than conference calls. My personal cell phone is my address book, alarm clock, notepad, calendar, email portal, connection to Twitter, text & voice connection to everyone who matters to me, thing that makes waiting in line bearable, and general device that keeps me connected to the datastream. I am not going to be ok with someone else picking carrier, OS, battery life, keyboard (or lack thereof), etc. for me. No one single phone is "the best" because people prioritize different things in a phone, so the best phone for you is not necessarily going to be the best phone for me. I realize I am a tech person who cares about features and specs, but even a totally non-techy girlfriend is likely to want to see if the thing can hold as much music as she wants or if it comes in a color she likes.
Sorry to rant like this, but every time this ad comes on the radio it really bothers me. People: if your partner says they don't want a Valentine's Day present, please believe them. If your partner does want a Valentine's present, get them something romantic, don't get them a fucking phone unless that's really the thing they want most in the world that would make them feel sexy and adored - and if that's the case, you might want to send them to a therapist, because wtf.
